16-18 E. Patrick Street, Frederick Maryland 21701
Frederick Phone Number: 301-668-0668
No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Atheism is a
non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other:
'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
A short fortune-teller escaped from prison.
Was that a small medium at large?
A backward poet writes inverse.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
The roundest knight at
King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size
from too much pi.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
When it comes right down to it,
dyslexics have more nuf.
Women like silent men; they think we're listening.
Why do they report power outages on TV?
SAVE THE WHALES!
Trade them for valuable prizes.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Bad decisions make great stories.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Politically Incorrect Section
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a quiz the other day. I lost by one point. The question was where do most women have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer was Africa.
One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer either.
I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Wouldn't you know it! She sucks at snooker & eight-ball too!
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,
but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's has a mustache."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know, 4,000 f.....g Muslims have added me as a friend!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard”
The FBI has discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives. Apparently prophets are going through the roof!
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help with the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the end of our driveway.
